What Would You Do If You Were Rich?
Posted by The Gimcracker in Gimcrackery, News, Theory & Philosophy on 22. Feb, 2011 | 3 Comments
This is probably one of the most popular questions people ask themselves. Well, this and: “should I have another volcano Taco?” The answer to that one’s obvious. But the answer to the former is not so simple, is it? There are a few wise people who answer “I wouldn’t want to be rich.” But for the rest of us, the answer usually consists of a few big ticket material items right off the bat, some aspect of saving or investing, and in a lot of cases, charity. Charity, either because of a true desire to be charitable (in which case the answerer probably already is a charitable person), or because simply having a lot of money seems to bring along a level of guilt (in which case the answerer probably lacks somewhat in the area of charitabilityness).
I, for one, would love to be rich. Being able to partake in the finer things would be awesome. Five-star restaurants. No more broken down cars. Someone else to do my house repairs. A personal trainer to equal out my increase of Volcano Taco consumption. Oh that’d be so grand. However, that stuff would very quickly become boring, I’m sure. So, I’d like to think that I could do something more meaningful with my newfound financial responsibility, such as giving it away, starting my own charity, helping widows & orphans, and spreading the Gospel. You know, Bible stuff. Christian stuff. The trouble is, I don’t really do much of that now, so what makes me think I would increase those activities just because I had more money? More money would probably equal more distractions and stress, which would in all likelihood decrease those activities.
Well, here’s a great example of a few people that did what I’d like to think I would do. And by the way, they were just killed a few hours ago in the pirate-infested waters of Somalia.
UPDATE: Teen Paranormal Romance Is Ruining Classic Novels
Posted by The Gimcracker in Gimcrackery on 18. Nov, 2010 | 6 Comments
Check it out, Pride & Prejudice has been re-released with the cliched “object against black background” cover and Twilight-esque title font. This will probably make some famous people who did some great things somewhere roll over in their graves, but I’m actually grateful for the direction these book covers are taking. Now it’s easier for me to spot the books I don’t want to read. It has become a two-step thought process when browsing the book store: 1) Is it in the Teen Paranormal Romance section? 2) Does the cover look like Twilight? If no to both, and if I actually read books*, I would consider the book.
Haunted House Review: Indy ScreamPark
Posted by The Gimcracker in Miscellaniac on 11. Oct, 2010 | 17 Comments
Fall is my favorite time of year for so many reasons. One of them is going to haunted houses in October. Why do I like haunted houses so much? You pay $10 to spend 2 minutes in a nasty building where high school kids jump out at you and the walls are smeared with red paint. That shouldn’t be appealing, but for some reason it is. We yearn for that feeling of fright that only the macabre can bring, which is why we love telling scary stories and tales like Sleep Hollow around a brisk fall campfire. Hot apple cider. Scarecrows. Pumpkin patches. Harvest moons. Boom – you are now in autumn mode.
I’ve been to some great haunted houses. The best one I’ve ever been to is the Mysterious Mansion in Gatlinburg TN. It’s a year-round haunted house, which means the fixtures are permanent instead of toted in just for the season. The place is very well thought out and offers some unique and terrifying thrills.
The Mysterious Mansion is indeed one of the best in the country. Now, get ready to read about one of the worst.
Zach Galifianakis & Robert Downey Jr. In A Film Together!
Posted by The Gimcracker in Movies, ROFL on 15. Jul, 2010 | 3 Comments
It’s like saying a Volcano Taco and a Gyro are in the same meal together! Only because they’re both really good, not because the food bears any resemblance to the aforementioned actors. Speaking of, that should be Taco Bell’s next promotional item: The Cheesy Gyro Burrito. Back to the topic: I’m really excited to see this new movie these two guys are in. It’s called Due Date and I think it’s about a road trip or something. Watch the trailer:
Volkswagen Logo Totally Looks Like The WordPress Logo
Posted by The Gimcracker in Gimcrackery on 29. Apr, 2010 | 6 Comments
Yesterday I was watching the boob tube and a Volkswagen commercial came on. At the end of the commercial I suddenly got the urge to blog, which hasn’t happened in a LONG time. I wondered about the connection but then my program came back on (Food Tech on History channel, if you must know) and I settled back into my catatonic TV-watching state (I call it “boob-tubing”). Then the same commercial came back on later in the program and I paid specific attention to the Volkswagen logo at the end. It was then that I realized why I got the urge to blog: the new Volkswagen logo totally looks like the Wordpress logo. See for yourself:
How Adjectives Differ By Gender
Posted by The Gimcracker in Gimcrackery, Men Vs. Women on 02. Mar, 2010 | 9 Comments
If some dude was transplanted from 50 years ago to a conversation happening today between two people about a third person, that dude would most likely get the wrong impression about the person being discussed. That’s because words can have different meanings because of variables like A) what time period the word is used, B) the vocal inflection or body language accompanying the words, and C) who the person in question is. For instance, the word “dude” used to probably mean something more specific than it does now. We call everyone a dude, but back then I think it had something to do with a dude ranch or something. I’m not going to look it up, but you get the idea.
Well, today I want to focus in on one of the variables I mentioned, and that is who the person in question is, or more specifically, what gender the person is. This type of thing is discussed ad nauseum in stand-up comic routines about the differences in men and women. So, I decided to make it unique by expressing my ideas not in front of a live studio audience, but via my blog. That makes it different right? No? Well how about this: mine will be way funnier and more true. Actually I probably can’t pull that off. That leaves me only one optoin: embed a Youtube video at the end of the post. Beat that, Jim Gaffagan!
Here is a list of adjectives used to describe people, followed by what that adjective really means. Notice how they unfortunately differ based on whether or not you are talking about a man or a woman:
Seriously, AciPhex?!
Posted by The Gimcracker in ROFL, Seriously?! on 12. Jan, 2010 | No Comments
This is a thing. A real thing. It’s a medication to treat acid reflux disease. What did they call it? AciPhex, naturally. Wait a second… AciPhex? Assiphex? Ass effects? No, no that can’t be right. Well yes, actually, that’s exactly how it’s pronounced. ASS EFFECTS. See for yourself – watch the commercial and try to keep a straight face:
Bleak Friday
Posted by The Gimcracker in Black Friday Watch, Gimcrackery on 24. Nov, 2009 | 3 Comments
I have to work the Friday after Thanksgiving. I used to think this was a bad thing, and it seems like everyone else has that day off. But this year, after looking through the morbidly obese Sunday paper and seeing all of the “Black Friday” deals, I decided it was actually a good thing, since it meant I didn’t even have the option to shop that day. Black Friday makes me sick. The problem is, like most evil things, it is so appealing in some ways. For instance, I saw that BluRays are going to be like $6. I saw the Cannon T1i (a $900 camera) is going for $699. I saw an xbox 360 for $299… WITH SIX GAMES. So there is definitely that element of intrigue there. But it’s evil, right? Yes. Maybe these low-down, dirty examples of Black Friday ads will disgust you enough to hammer that idea home.
Tallest Building In The World – Exterior Completed
Posted by The Gimcracker in News, Technology on 08. Oct, 2009 | No Comments
The tallest structure ever built is complete. The Burj Dubai has been under construction since 2004, located in Dubai, UAE (that’s in the Middle East if you don’t know). It is one of the most beautiful buildings I’ve ever seen, in one of the most beautiful cities (structurally) I’ve ever seen. It is 2,684 feet tall with 160 floors, and it’s GIGANTIC. The record for tallest skyskraper in the world has been broken several times recently, but the Burj Dubai not only broke the record, it broke the record for how much a record was broken by. To give you an idea of how tall this building is, let me show you some images and compare it with other supertall buildings.
Martin Scorcese’s New Movie Is Called “Shutter Island”
Posted by The Gimcracker in Movies, News on 11. Jun, 2009 | 2 Comments
This is the first I’ve heard of his new movie (trailer after the jump). You probably know all about it and I’m way behind the times and all of that, but I still wanted to bring attention to it. Let’s talk about a few things. First things first, it looks really good. Secondly, it’s a horror film. By Martin Scorcese. That’s like Taco Bell coming out with a hamburger meal (who cares if it’s good, you have to try it!). Third, it’s Leo Decaprio again. I’m a fan of his especially after his performance in The Departed. Speaking of The Departed, that brings me to my final point: he has a Boston accent AGAIN. What’s with him having accents in all his movies nowadays?
