How Adjectives Differ By Gender
Posted by The Gimcracker in Gimcrackery, Men Vs. Women on 02. Mar, 2010 | 4 Comments
If some dude was transplanted from 50 years ago to a conversation happening today between two people about a third person, that dude would most likely get the wrong impression about the person being discussed. That’s because words can have different meanings because of variables like A) what time period the word is used, B) the vocal inflection or body language accompanying the words, and C) who the person in question is. For instance, the word “dude” used to probably mean something more specific than it does now. We call everyone a dude, but back then I think it had something to do with a dude ranch or something. I’m not going to look it up, but you get the idea.
Well, today I want to focus in on one of the variables I mentioned, and that is who the person in question is, or more specifically, what gender the person is. This type of thing is discussed ad nauseum in stand-up comic routines about the differences in men and women. So, I decided to make it unique by expressing my ideas not in front of a live studio audience, but via my blog. That makes it different right? No? Well how about this: mine will be way funnier and more true. Actually I probably can’t pull that off. That leaves me only one optoin: embed a Youtube video at the end of the post. Beat that, Jim Gaffagan!
Here is a list of adjectives used to describe people, followed by what that adjective really means. Notice how they unfortunately differ based on whether or not you are talking about a man or a woman:
LOLheads – The Belichad Kroeger (aka The Nickelchick)
Posted by The Gimcracker in LOLheads, Sports on 23. Nov, 2009 | No Comments
It’s been quite a while since we had a Bill Belichick sighting, probably because during the off season he retreats to his mansion in Croatia and watches Lacrosse while listening to Bon Jovi albums. He was a little busier than usual this off-season bailing his son out of trouble for under-age drinking and pot possession. He was almost kicked off the Lacrosse team! But all that is behind him because the NFL season is fully underway and he’s back in the spotlight. Belichick’s rise to fame, proceeded by it’s rapid decline due to unsportsmanlike conduct and cheating, followed by it’s sharp drop-off after a retarded coaching decision against the Colts last week, bears resemblance to the front man of a particular 2000’s-era Canadian rock band. In fact, they have a lot of things in common, particularly the fact that they are both insanely successful despite being universally hated by most of the fans in their industry. I think you will know who I’m talking about when you see this recent Belichick sighting from yesterday afternoon:
Seriously, Sportscenter?!
Posted by The Gimcracker in Seriously?!, Sports on 16. Nov, 2009 | 2 Comments
I just need to vent for a second about the coverage that I have seen in the media regarding the 11/16/09 Sunday night Colts vs. Patriots game, and this is just in the 12 hours after the game. I’m not going to waste a lot of your time, and I wasn’t going to do a post about the game because it sort of speaks for itself. But by golly someone needs to stand up and defend the Colts against this biased, band-wagon jumping, star-struck, Tom Brady-loving nation.
NFL Theme Songs
Posted by The Gimcracker in Music, Sports on 05. Aug, 2009 | 8 Comments
Thursday, September 10th, at 8:30PM the Titans and Steelers will open the 2009 NFL season. I have embedded a convenient countdown timer for your benefit. Except I couldn’t put in a time so it’s counting down to midnight of September 9th. Close enough.
Around this time every year I usually do a blog post to get us hyped up for football season. For the 2007 season I posted an awesome Nike commercial that gets you hyped up no matter what. For the 2008 season I posted a funny Jim Mora commercial that will make you laugh as well as get you hyped up no matter what. Sometimes I even do it mid-year, like in December 2007 when I hit you with a post with awesome NFL photos which is guaranteed to make you wish you played in the NFL and also get you hyped up no matter what.
This year I have been inspired by the sound of music. I have obtained samples of all the various NFL themes. You will be surprised at how many of these you know, and how you didn’t realize they were actually different songs. Even if you’re a girl, or are not a football fan, or both, I guarantee you will recognize 90% of these themes. You won’t know how, but you’ll recognize them, I promise.
Have I Mentioned Twitter Is Not My Fav?
Posted by The Gimcracker in Sports, Twitter Sucks on 09. Jul, 2009 | 1 Comment
Chad Johnson or Ocho-Cinco or Blond-Fauxhawk wants to Tweet during NFL games. Apparently he has run out of things to distract him from actually playing good football: changing his name, dogging his teammates, doing dances in the end-zone, sporting a blond mohawk, pouring popcorn into his mouth through his helmet on the sidelines (or was that T.O?), etc. I think he should focus on scoring more than 4 measly touchdowns this season. Chad Johnson my friend you have just been burned by the eternal flame of TGM.
Seriously, Multigrain Cheerios?!
Posted by The Gimcracker in Men Vs. Women, Seriously?!, Television on 02. Jun, 2009 | 4 Comments
Have you seen one of the worst commercials on television yet? It’s a married couple in a kitchen that looks like it’s from a mental institution (because it’s all white washed and because the people in it are mentally insane) talking about Multigrain Cheerios. As in the majority of commercials these days, the wife comes off as much smarter than her bumbling, stammering husband. It’s not the wife’s behavior that is the problem, it is the husband’s.
It is a husband’s responsibility to zing his wife back. If he doesn’t, the ensuing relationship is his own fault. However if my wife ever smiled at me as condescendingly as the woman in this commercial I would probably throw up all my lunches from the past 4 days straight into her little bowl of soggy oat rings. It literally makes me gag just watching it. It makes me GOL (that’s a real thing starting now).
Amazing Happened Again
Posted by The Gimcracker in Sports on 22. May, 2009 | No Comments
I told you to watch the NBA playoffs because remember how I was talking about where does amazing happen and then you put it on your mental list to watch at least a quarter of one game to make me feel better? Or were you just saying that? Well in either case amazing happened again last night (that’s what she said I wish).
Where Will Amazing Happen?
Posted by The Gimcracker in Amazing, ROFL, Sports on 08. May, 2009 | 1 Comment
I have been watching the NBA Playoffs this year. I don’t know why I have. I just have. I really like this year’s commercials because they make basketball seem good again even though it’s not good. It’s not good at all. But when you put it in black & white and add poignant piano music, it becomes epic.
The videos are after the jump. They get really good towards the bottom. Hint hint. What I mean by hint hint is that is they get funny. You gotta be kidding me that I have to spell things out like that.
OK, Enough With The Roller Derby Stuff
Posted by The Gimcracker in Sports on 16. Apr, 2009 | 9 Comments
I feel like roller derby thinks it’s going to rise up and become a prominent force in our society much like NFL or McDonalds or Paul Walker (just kidding) and I want to sit roller derby down and say to her “you are tenacious but please – enough already” because seriously IT’S FOR LESBIANS. It’s OK that it’s for lesbians, and I am not bashing lesbians in any way shape or form. But the fact is that if something is targeted to such a small slice of the population, it’s not going to become mainstream enough to have any kind of bearing on our culture.
Top 5 Household “Man Zones”
Posted by The Gimcracker in Manliness, Top Fivers on 06. Feb, 2009 | 7 Comments
So you got married. Good for you! You are now living in perfect harmony. Well, you thought you would be living in perfect harmony, right? At least you were hopeful of that, right? Well as you’ve probably found out, that isn’t possible.
Not to worry! I have found the solution. You can give your relationship a real boost in the right direction by creating a “man zone” for yourself and your fellow idiot man friends who have also ended their lives in marriage (I mean that in a positive way).
