Shutter Island Berated
Posted by The Gimcracker in Beratings, Movies on 08. Mar, 2010 | No Comments
Scorsese does it again. While Shutter Island is not about the mob or gangs or Italy or wiseguys or illegal drugs, it still has that Scorsese feel. There are a few common elements carried over from his previous film The Departed, such as Boston accents and Leonardo DiCaprio, but that is where the similarities end. There are only about 10 “f-bombs”, in contrast to the 100+ in his other films. There are 2 violent/bloody scenes, in contrast to the usual 10+ in his other films. An finally, there are 0 crazy, old, tough-guy actors (Robert Deniros, Joe Pescis, and Jack Nicolsons), in contrast to 1+ of his other films. The point is that Martin Scorsese has deviated from the type of film genre he usually dabbles in (quite successfully) to venture into the realm of psychological thriller, and he proves that he is quite skilled in it. I’m hoping for a romantic comedy next, followed by a new installment in the college humor Van Wilder series.
Best Fails of 2009 Proves “Oohh!!” Is Our Natural Reaction To Failure
Posted by The Gimcracker in Fail on 02. Mar, 2010 | No Comments
There are two levels of Fail. If a fail places in the “miniscule to minor” range, the reaction is always laughter. If the fail falls anywhere above that range, the reaction is always “Oohh!!” – regardless of language spoken. This video proves it. For example, watch the three clips in a row starting at 47 seconds in. The reactions are always “Oohh!!” because the person might be hurt. The very next clip (55 seconds) where the dude falls off the rock in the water merits laughter because he’s obviously not hurt. The only exception to this rule is if a woman is filming the fail, in which case the reaction is a scream.
How Adjectives Differ By Gender
Posted by The Gimcracker in Gimcrackery, Men Vs. Women on 02. Mar, 2010 | 4 Comments
If some dude was transplanted from 50 years ago to a conversation happening today between two people about a third person, that dude would most likely get the wrong impression about the person being discussed. That’s because words can have different meanings because of variables like A) what time period the word is used, B) the vocal inflection or body language accompanying the words, and C) who the person in question is. For instance, the word “dude” used to probably mean something more specific than it does now. We call everyone a dude, but back then I think it had something to do with a dude ranch or something. I’m not going to look it up, but you get the idea.
Well, today I want to focus in on one of the variables I mentioned, and that is who the person in question is, or more specifically, what gender the person is. This type of thing is discussed ad nauseum in stand-up comic routines about the differences in men and women. So, I decided to make it unique by expressing my ideas not in front of a live studio audience, but via my blog. That makes it different right? No? Well how about this: mine will be way funnier and more true. Actually I probably can’t pull that off. That leaves me only one optoin: embed a Youtube video at the end of the post. Beat that, Jim Gaffagan!
Here is a list of adjectives used to describe people, followed by what that adjective really means. Notice how they unfortunately differ based on whether or not you are talking about a man or a woman:
Nickelback vs. Radiohead (Seriously?!)
Posted by The Gimcracker in Music, Seriously?! on 26. Feb, 2010 | 1 Comment
I have been asked a few times why I hate Nickelback so much. Well, hopefully after writing this blog post I can answer that question in the future by giving the person the URL to this article. Thanks, past self. You’re welcome, future self.
I was in the car today and forgot my iPod, so I had to listen to the radio. I came upon a gem of a song. And by “gem” I mean “turd” and by “song” I mean “homeless man”. It’s called “If Today Was Your Last Day” by Nickelback, and it is one of the worst songs I have ever heard. In fact, the only worse songs I’ve heard have been other Nickelback songs, like the one where he says something about looking at a photograph and he’s asking what the hell was on his friend Jimmy’s head or something like that. I hope you never have to hear it.
How To Balance Video Games & Facebook
Posted by The Gimcracker in Gaming, Twitter Sucks on 17. Feb, 2010 | 4 Comments
This video presents a conundrum to me. It attacks the video game industry, which obviously offends me. But it also attacks the social media industry, which fills me with great exuberance. I’m left torn and conflicted, bouncing back and forth between emotions, trying to figure out what my overall reaction is. This does not happen to me. The Gimcracker exists to bust you upside your head with knowledge. It is always my goal to f*** you up with some truth. If you can name what show I just quoted I will friend request you on Facebook and follow you on Twitter immediately. Sike. Watch this video and tell me your reaction. I’d love to hear what you think about it:
Seriously, AciPhex?!
Posted by The Gimcracker in ROFL, Seriously?! on 12. Jan, 2010 | No Comments
This is a thing. A real thing. It’s a medication to treat acid reflux disease. What did they call it? AciPhex, naturally. Wait a second… AciPhex? Assiphex? Ass effects? No, no that can’t be right. Well yes, actually, that’s exactly how it’s pronounced. ASS EFFECTS. See for yourself – watch the commercial and try to keep a straight face:
Avatar Berated
Posted by The Gimcracker in Beratings, Movies on 30. Dec, 2009 | 3 Comments
Have you ever been so immersed in a story or character that you forget it is not real? Avatar does that to you. After seeing the film, it’s hard to remember that the blue-skinned alien race called the Na’vi doesn’t actually exist. It’s hard to imagine that Biff from Back To The Future isn’t a jerk in real life. Or that Middle Earth isn’t a real place. It’s because of good film-making that those things are so convincing. If I could sum up Avatar in a single phrase, it wouldn’t be “master storytelling”, “heart-wrenching drama”, “superb characters”, or even “ground-breaking”, it would simply be “superb film-making”. James Cameron knows how to make a film into an event that you can’t miss. Audiences were greatly affected by movies like The Terminator, Aliens, and Titanic. Well we can definitely add Avatar to the ever-growing list of must-sees in the theater.
Delete Your Facebook Account
Posted by The Gimcracker in Twitter Sucks on 16. Dec, 2009 | No Comments
There are a lot of reasons to delete your Facebook account, and I’ve been over a lot of them. But this is the final straw. Get out while you can! Facebook just made all of your stuff public. That’s right, your friends lists, profile pics, fan pages, and network memberships are all public now. I’m so glad I deleted my account permanently (which was rocket science to do, by the way). You should too! If not because it’s a huge waste of time, makes your relationships with some people awkward, and glorifies extroverts and annoying ego-centric people, do it because they are violating your freedom!
Top Fiver: Hottest Things Right Now
Posted by The Gimcracker in Top Fivers on 03. Dec, 2009 | 2 Comments
When you’re talking about the top five hottest things right now, you have to think about all the popular things that everybody likes, and then you gotta just take the top five of them.
That sentence was written in homage to the great John Madden, because, yes, this post is very madden-esque and I’m totally pointing out the obvious. Still, it is fun to see how dominating certain franchises, institutions, and brands really are. Everyone knows Google is the largest search engine, but sometimes it’s fun to see just how much more successful it is than Yahoo and MSN.
How did I choose this list? Well, it could have been something like Coke, McDonald’s, Nike, John Deere, and Chrysler (jk Chrysler). But those things are old, and I wanted this to be a list of things that are particularly hot right now. That means things that have seen fairly large growth over recent years, and have clearly shown their superiority in what once was a competitive market.
So, without further ado, I give you the top five hottest things right now, listed in order of market share dominance.
Bleak Friday
Posted by The Gimcracker in Gimcrackery on 24. Nov, 2009 | 3 Comments
I have to work the Friday after Thanksgiving. I used to think this was a bad thing, and it seems like everyone else has that day off. But this year, after looking through the morbidly obese Sunday paper and seeing all of the “Black Friday” deals, I decided it was actually a good thing, since it meant I didn’t even have the option to shop that day. Black Friday makes me sick. The problem is, like most evil things, it is so appealing in some ways. For instance, I saw that BluRays are going to be like $6. I saw the Cannon T1i (a $900 camera) is going for $699. I saw an xbox 360 for $299… WITH SIX GAMES. So there is definitely that element of intrigue there. But it’s evil, right? Yes. Maybe these low-down, dirty examples of Black Friday ads will disgust you enough to hammer that idea home.
