Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – BERATED!
Posted by The Gimcracker in Beratings, Movies on 26. Jun, 2009 | Comments
Michael Bay is a 15 year old boy trapped in a man’s body (and in the ’90s). He gets older, his movies stay the same age. I don’t know why I keep seeing his movies. I guess it is because when I was 15 I saw The Rock and it rocked (sorry) my 15-year-old little brain that desired nothing but violence/sex/wreckage/fast cars and had no time for character development, real-life situations, or dialogue. At the risk of sounding pretentious, Revenge of the Fallen is for one of two groups: A) 15 year old boys (or anyone with the mental capacity of a 15 year old boy), and B) people who are willing to forgo their dignity to publicly oggle over Megan Fox and Isabel Lucas for 2 hours (actually this is just another way of describing group A).
If you refer to the image I have conveniently included above, you will see a snapshot of exactly what this movie is: Shia is intense and scared, Megan is slightly less intense and scared and her breasts are half exposed, and they are surrounded by wreckage and GM cars. If that is what you want out of life then GO SEE THIS MOVIE RIGHT NOW WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! Also when you’re done seeing Transformers rent the movie Idiocracy and tell me if you “get it” or not. You won’t.
Martin Scorcese’s New Movie Is Called “Shutter Island”
Posted by The Gimcracker in Movies, News on 11. Jun, 2009 | Comments
This is the first I’ve heard of his new movie (trailer after the jump). You probably know all about it and I’m way behind the times and all of that, but I still wanted to bring attention to it. Let’s talk about a few things. First things first, it looks really good. Secondly, it’s a horror film. By Martin Scorcese. That’s like Taco Bell coming out with a hamburger meal (who cares if it’s good, you have to try it!). Third, it’s Leo Decaprio again. I’m a fan of his especially after his performance in The Departed. Speaking of The Departed, that brings me to my final point: he has a Boston accent AGAIN. What’s with him having accents in all his movies nowadays?
“The Hangover” Will Be Amazing
Posted by The Gimcracker in Movies on 20. May, 2009 | Comments
The Hangover is going to be the funniest movie to come out in at least 6 years. What is the last movie where you laughed so hard no noise came out? The answer is Old School where dude gets a dart in the neck. That is also one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. If you disagree then you should stop reading and go watch Dodgeball which is your favorite movie.
Sherlock Holmes Trailer
Posted by The Gimcracker in Movies on 19. May, 2009 | Comments
This is a movie coming out called Sherlock Holmes starring Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes. Can I get enough Robert Downey Jr.? The answer is no. No is the answer to that question. Also of note: Jude Law as Watson, Rachel McAdams as some broad, and directed by Guy “Snatch” Richie. Great combo!!! The only thing that could make this better would be if the actors ate volcano tacos from Taco Bell many times throughout the movie.
And to answer your question of whether or not there are super-slow motion scenes of men punching each other: yes there are. Video after the jump.
The World’s Perception Of Evil Is Mostly Wrong
Posted by The Gimcracker in Movies, Theory & Philosophy on 14. Apr, 2009 | Comments
Take this Antichrist trailer for instance. Watch The Exorcist or any other horror movie about “evil”. That’s what people think evil is. They think it’s blatant, violent, frightening imagery and that demons are ugly, ferocious beasts that make you want to flee. The stereotypes of hell and evil and the devil are a tad askew.
Moon Trailer
Posted by The Gimcracker in Movies on 13. Apr, 2009 | Comments
I have always liked Sam Rockwell. He was good in The Green Mile, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, and Matchstick Men. Apparently he is going to play Justin Hammer in Iron Man II. But what I want to focus on now is this trailer for this movie with this guy and this demented computer about the Moon, called Moon. Looks like another movie with my favorite kind of storytelling.
Soundtrack To Get You Going At Work
Posted by The Gimcracker in Movies, Music on 05. Jan, 2009 | Comments
I need to be inspired to be productive. There is no intrinsic desire within me to work, trust me. There are lots of things that can inspire me to work, most of them having to do with music. We all have playlists of our favorite songs to get us motivated to work, hype us up for sports, or prepare us to party on a Friday night.
There are a lot of good songs out there to listen to for any number of reasons. But there is nothing like a good film score to motivate you. I’ve got plenty of soundtracks queued up in iTunes for just such occasions, and I tap my film score playlist up to 2-3 times per week.
5 Annoying Comedy Character Clichés
Posted by The Gimcracker in Movies, Top Fivers on 19. Sep, 2008 | Comments
There’s nothing worse than a cliché. They were obviously invented for a good reason. Sometimes you don’t feel like explaining something the old-fashioned way, such as using logic and meaningful words, so it’s easier to just use a cliché.
The problem is people use clichés much too frequently, causing them to A) lose their poignancy and B) get really annoying. Even the word cliché has become a cliché, which has caused a recursive lapse in the time-space continuum – similar to what would happen if you were to make two mirrors reflect each other. Thank goodness no one has ever tried that.
Even more annoying than clichéd words and phrases are film elements, such as plot lines, endings, actors, and characters. Today we will focus on the latter.
Why Do People Hate Titanic?
Posted by The Gimcracker in Movies, Theory & Philosophy on 12. Aug, 2008 | Comments
Pop Aversion Theory™
That’s why.
Let me tell you about a new theory that is blowing the minds of scientists and philosophizers ’round the globe. It’s called Pop Aversion Theory™ (PAT™) and it was discovered by the same great mind that brought us Reference Burst Theory™. Mine.
I recently took a movie compatibility quiz on Facebook because I [...]
The Dark Knight
Posted by The Gimcracker in Beratings, Movies on 21. Jul, 2008 | Comments
It stars an unlikely actor as “The Joker” who’s accidental death came just before filming was to wrap up. It’s a 2.5+ hour comic book movie spawned from the same franchise that contains filth like Batman & Robin. It had to compete with such summer action blockbusters as Wanted, Hellboy II, and Hancock.
It shattered 5 [...]
April
Christopher
Mister Andy
adriankolbo
Sheridan
Jesse
Tim
Sally
