The Gimcrack Miscellany

Nickelback vs. Radiohead (Seriously?!)

Posted on 26. Feb, 2010 by The Gimcracker in Music, Seriously?!

I have been asked a few times why I hate Nickelback so much. Well, hopefully after writing this blog post I can answer that question in the future by giving the person the URL to this article. Thanks, past self. You’re welcome, future self.

I was in the car today and forgot my iPod, so I had to listen to the radio. I came upon a gem of a song. And by “gem” I mean “turd” and by “song” I mean “homeless man”. It’s called “If Today Was Your Last Day” by Nickelback, and it is one of the worst songs I have ever heard. In fact, the only worse songs I’ve heard have been other Nickelback songs, like the one where he says something about looking at a photograph and he’s asking what the hell was on his friend Jimmy’s head or something like that. I hope you never have to hear it.

Anyway, Nickelback is notorious for writing what are almost universally agreed-upon to be bad bad songs. The song I heard on the radio today was probably the 20th radio single I can think of in the last 2 years from this band. I stopped listening to their songs after “Leader of Men” (good song actually) off their debut album, so I decided to take a listen to the lyrics of their newest “hit”. After finishing the song, I decided that if there was ever a highlight reel of modern idioms, this song would be the soundtrack. Here is the song, and the first two verses written out below it:

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day’s a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

Against the grain should be a way of life
What’s worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts ’cause there’s no second try
So live like you’re never living twice
Don’t take the free ride in your own life

Seriously, Nickelback?!

Let’s look at each line individually and see if this song is even about anything:

Lyric:

“My best friend game me the best advice. He said each day’s a gift and not a given right.”

Meaning:

Don’t take anything for granted.

Reason it’s dumb:

What adult male talks about his best friend? A 12 year old adult male, that’s who. Also, it’s taken straight from this quote.

Lyric:

“Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind and try to take the path less traveled by”

Meaning:

Go for it in life – don’t take life for granted.

Reason it’s dumb:

It’s completely unoriginal. It’s three tired idioms in one sentence: 1) Leave no stone unturned, 2) Leave your fears behind you (28 million Google search results – most unrelated to this song), 3) Take the road less traveled (already a book based on a famous poem).

Lyric:

“That first step you take is the longest stride”

Meaning:

Beginning something is the hardest part.

Reason it’s dumb:

Again, completely unoriginal and stolen from this ancient proverb: The first step is always the hardest.

Lyric:

“Against the grain should be a way of life”

Meaning:

The same meaning as when he says “take the road less traveled”

Reason it’s dumb:

He already said this using a stolen idiom. Now he’s not only just repeating what others have said, but he’s stealing multiple idioms to say the same thing! This time he uses this one: Go Against The Grain.

Lyric:

“What’s worth the price is always worth the fight”

Meaning:

This actually doesn’t mean what you think it does – it’s incomplete.

Reason it’s dumb:

This is sort of a Begging The Question logical fallacy. He’s trying to make a point by saying the same thing again a different way. If something is worth the price you pay, what you are saying is that the benefits outweigh the sacrifice, or the pros outweigh the cons. Consequently, if you say something is worth the fight, you are essentially just saying something is worth the price. Both “price” and “fight” are meant to represent the sacrifice or “work” you put into it. So, we naturally hear this sentence as “What’s worth the benefit is worth the cost”, even though that’s not even what he said! That also proves this is yet another stolen idiom – how else could we have naturally known what he was trying to say, despite what he actually did say, if we hadn’t already heard it a thousand times?

Lyric:

“Every second counts ’cause there’s no second try, so live like you’re never living twice”

Meaning:

You only live life once.

Reason it’s dumb:

Look at the Wikipedia results for each of these two phrases: Every Second Counts, and You Only Live Once. There are already albums, books, films, and game shows with these titles. Again, nothing new here.

Lyric:

“Don’t take the free ride in your own life”

Meaning:

Don’t take anything for granted.

Reason it’s dumb:

Again, yet another stolen idiom. It’s this one: Free Ride.

There you go, not a single original idea presented. There is nothing to debate, and nothing to discuss. Even the chord progression – that cliched, overused, G-D-A progression – has been used a million times before even by Nickelback themselves (see chorus of Nickelback’s “Someday”, and then compare that chorus to Nickelback’s “Savin’ Me”, and THEN try to distinguish all three of these songs in your head – it’s impossible).

I am not trying to be a music elitist here as I will be the first to admit that I like music that true elitists scoff at. But I will say that I draw the line at Nickelback. Let’s look at a true song by a true band. It’s called Pyramid Song by Radiohead. I didn’t choose it because it’s the most complicated and deep song by Radiohead (which it’s not) because that would be an unfair comparison. I chose it 1) because it’s very short and 2) because it randomly came on my iPod when I got back to my desk at work. Here is the song and the full lyrics posted below it:

i jumped in the river and what did I see?
black-eyed angels swimming with me
a moon full of stars and astral cars
all the figures i used to see
all my lovers were there with me
all my past and futures
and we all went to heaven in a little row boat
there was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt

First of all, if you can name the time signature of that song I will be very impressed. Secondly, the song is not preachy at all. It is an eerie story that presents different imagery to different listeners, and it has spurred much debate, as do a lot of other Radiohead songs. Some say the song is about euthanasia, while others say it’s inspired by Dante’s Inferno. And while some of the lines were inspired by or taken from previous works, none of them were based on common idioms, maxims, proverbs, sayings, cliches, or quotes.

This is not to say that you have to like Radiohead’s song and you aren’t allowed to like Nickelback’s song. It is just a comparative example of why I think Radiohead, for instance, is such a better band than Nickelback, and I would even argue that is an objective statement in the world of music (not the world of pop, hollywood, ‘tweens, or money). Radiohead is musically complex, Nickelback is not. Radiohead is lyrically original, Nickelback is not. Radiohead is thought-provoking and inspiring, Nickelback is not. Radiohead is musically diverse, Nickelback is not. Radiohead does not get boo-ed off stage, Nickelback does.

UPDATE***

Here’s proof that Nickelback is unoriginal musically and even copies itself. This video layers How You Remind Me and Someday. They are THE SAME SONG:

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