OK, Enough With The Roller Derby Stuff
Posted on 16. Apr, 2009 by The Gimcracker in Sports
I feel like roller derby thinks it’s going to rise up and become a prominent force in our society much like NFL or McDonalds or Paul Walker (just kidding) and I want to sit roller derby down and say to her “you are tenacious but please – enough already” because seriously IT’S FOR LESBIANS. It’s OK that it’s for lesbians, and I am not bashing lesbians in any way shape or form. But the fact is that if something is targeted to such a small slice of the population, it’s not going to become mainstream enough to have any kind of bearing on our culture.
I know a few guys that have the desire to watch roller derby too (I still think it exists mainly for and because of feminist lesbians – it’s like women’s softball except it doesn’t have the companion sport of men’s softball to garner interest from the other half of the population – I’m not hating, just stating…), but it’s a fact that roller derby takes itself too seriously when clearly it’s not meant to be taken seriously in the first place. Um, I hope. Come on The Garden of Heathen – seriously? Wait, stop, everyone listen to that word I just typed: HEATHEN. You can’t ignore that word. No, I’m not being overly sensitive. A heathen is an unconverted member of a people or nation that does not acknowledge the God of the Bible.
My point is, either roller derby doesn’t take itself seriously (hence the “heathen” stuff), or it DOES take itself seriously. If the former is true, then I’m right and it’s just a passing fad like the Skippit and it can go away now because it’s already cliched. If the latter is true, then I’m wrong but we have a much bigger problem here folks: no one believes in God anymore.
Sorry for the depressing/self-righteous post. This ought to patch things up between us:
Hey Brian. Your post, you – ah….wha. HUH?
I don’t get it. What is roller derby? Is it a real sport? I bet if you asked people that play it they would tell you it is. So if it’s a real sport, why all the heathen and dirty words and imagery? Seems to me like it resembles wrestling more than it resembles a sport like golf or football. Please, if someone knows the answer to this, let me in on it.
(I’m guessing it’s ultimately more like wrestling, in which case I’m already sick of it just like I was always sick of WWF. Anyone? Hello?)
I have to weigh in here, being a roller girl myself. It’s actually not a sport “for lesbians.” At least not exclusively. There are a few who skate in my league but it’s just a handful out of 60 or so women. It is, however, perfectly accepting of lesbians, stay at home moms, big girls, skinny girls and every other type of women one can think of. It is nothing like wrestling, though old-school derby was staged. Most leagues require you to skate 3 or more practices each week. Each practice is 2 hours. Most of us work out a few more days a week. Every hit, bruise, etc. is real. My league currently has 3 people not skating because of broken bones they received in practice. There is men’s roller derby, too. One of the beautiful things about roller derby is that we keep it tongue in cheek (funny names, our team’s themes, the bout names, etc.) while still trying to garner attention to it as a real sport. Because it undeniably is. It’s just that it’s a little more fun when you add the quirky stuff. Hope this helps to clear up your obvious roller derby confusion!
Thank you Sk8tr, at least now I know what roller derby is all about straight from the mouth of someone who plays it. I didn’t realize men played it! I guess the episode of No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain that I watched (where he went to a roller derby and men were not allowed to play) does not represent the entire sport of roller derby. Who knew?
Maybe this is how all sports start. I guess the weird thing about roller derby – the thing that turns me off – is the infusion of all the weird/crass/funny names and themes. I’ve never watched another serious, competitive sport that has that element in it. In any case, thanks for the clarification.
I gotta check out that episode of No Reservations… There are separate leagues for men and women. We don’t skate together, although significant others and men skaters often fill in as our refs. It’s definitely unusual for a sport to have themes, etc. and it’s fading away a bit in some derby leagues as we get more athletic and more competitive. Frankly, it’s part of what I love about it, though. It just kind of gives it a little something that sets it apart from other sports and it attracts more alternative-types who may feel uncomfortable in traditional sport atmospheres. Check out http://www.wftda.com for info if you’re interested in more detail. That’s the womens’ flat track derby association’s web site. Hope you get to check out more derby!
i am a roller girl, and the names are just for fun. but we are real athletes, and should be taken seriously as athletes. we are 100 % self funded, skater owned and operated, and we dedicate a lot of time and energy, and bodily harm to this sport. thus, if you don't like it, don't watch it. oh, and we have 40 girls on our team, and no lesbians. but if we did have lesbians, who cares?
I guess there's an unfair stigma against the sport then… thanks for the comment.
I play derby. It's a sport. There are positions, rules, plays….and yeah, the players have fun with creative names and outfits. And yeah…we break bones and sprain things and work our asses off in practice. The hits are real. Vaguely resembles…Rugby on quads.
And as for the lesbian comment…we have a few girls on our team who are gay. Most of us aren't. And no one cares. Seems to me, wrestling in leotards with other dudes is way more homo-erotic…but that's been legitimized as a sport.
Go to a bout…it's an awesome, intense sport. There's a reason it has a following. If that doesn't change your mind…then i guess you're just really fucking lame.
Comments like this are exactly why I wrote this post. Thanks for enlightening me. Maybe I'll go to a bout sometime…
I am actually a male roller derby player. I skate for a team in Baltimore. Men's roller derby is kind of like football, but instead of using our real names and raping women, cheating on our wives, taking steroids, and fighting with each other because we are babies who make too much money – we pay for our own equipment and travel, do some charity work, support our roller girls, and get along with each other, all while under incredibly witty names like Carnage Asada, Groper Cleavage, Fo' Wheel?, and Bram Stroker. However, I think I am one of a few dudes who tries to make it to church every Sunday.
I am new to Women's Flat Track Derby. I work a 9 to 5 job, have no visible tattoos and have been married to a man for 8 very happy years. This is the first team sport I've played since I was 5 and I love it. We have straight women, gay women, moms, doctors, lawyers, bartenders, big ladies, skinny ladies, some women as young as 21 and one of our players turns 50 this year (she is incredible by the way!). We do some charity work, practice 6- 12 hours per week and lots of our players get injured because the hits are 100% real. The names are just fun. Before a skater is allowed to Bout (play in a game) she must pass a written and physical skills test. Only after she has passed both can she get her Derby Name and play. If you're ever on Long Island, please come to a practice or a game!
The Gimcracker, Harlem Globe Trotters are amazing athletes and they put on a big show. It's not fake, they have to practice just like the NBA does, if not harder! Same with roller derby, we have to do something to get a fanbase/get attention and hold attention. My team skates 2 times a week 3hrs at a time and another monthly practice on weekends which is also 3 hrs long. Not to mention all the paperwork involved with being self-run and governed. Scheduling bouts, setting up for the bouts, creating artwork for merchandise,ordering said merchandise,marketing our team, gaining local support, setting up events to raise money, keeping a budget, making enough money to pay our rink for rink time and this is maybe just a quarter of the work. Anywho, I bet you, you will NEVER meet a roller girl who isn't in absolute LOVE with the sport, you're so right it IS empowering to women, and you wont find many people who have been to a bout that they didn't enjoy(men, women, and children alike). I say check out a bout, there's about a 99.9% chance that you will fall in love with at least one roller derby persona. <3 Spazzy HVHRD
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Gigi